Redemption

                                                           REDEMPTION

                     “True redemption is when guilt leads to good”

                                                                         -Khaled Hosseini

Some events in life help us to know the reality. Some people come in our life and make an impact. I will share an incident that helped me to know myself.

                         I was studying in ST.Mary’s HSS, Pattom. I belong to ‘A’ batch. Teachers used to say ‘A’ batch students are very intelligent. They are the toppers of the school. But I knew I was not that intelligent. I was not interested in Science group. I was not a topper. Maybe this was written in my life book that I will get science. Only because of being a part of ‘A’ batch, that incident happened and helped to know myself more.

            It was at the midst of the 12^th grade. During the month of October. Every class is noisy in the absence of the teacher. But in my class some make noise purposely. My class teacher was absent for 3 days. No one knew the reason for her absences. In her period, some boys and girls started to make noise. The noise was very loud. It was very disturbing and irritating. Couple of times, teachers from other classes came to our class and warned us. But they still continued to make noise. They got happiness while disturbing others.

Our class became a talking point among the teachers. It was a huge black mark for our class.

                          All these news came to my class teachers ears. She was terribly upset. She came to the class in the 4^th day. She was sad and angry. She said last 3 days her husband was not well. She took leave to take care of her husband. I saw tears in her eyes when she said that.

 

Now her students added more pain to her. On one side her husband is not well and in the other side we defamed our class.

When teacher was speaking some girls and boys tried to avoid her and were writing their record. By seeing this teacher shouted and said, ‘when I am speaking you are not listening me. You people are insulting me.’ Saying this she went out of the class.

Our class leaders Abhiram and Nandini went to staff room to console teacher. I felt heavy inside and became desperate.

       But the problem does not end here. In fact it was the beginning.

                                  During the 4^th period our Maths teacher Gimi came to take class. She knew some of them here are not interested in her class. So she said, ‘Those who are not interested can go out of the class.’ At that moment Wazim, Sreedev and Aman went outside the class. They were very arrogant.

During the midst of the class Fr. Gheevarghese Ezhiyath, who was disciple in charge came that way and he saw 3 of them standing outside the class. Aman’s hair was long, so father asked him about that. But Aman behaved without any respect. Father got angry and took him to principles office. I was watching all that.

                             After Maths period we had break. I was very upset for what happened today. I felt very sorry for Nisha teacher.

Suddenly Fr. Ezhiyath entered our classroom and said ‘I want to check all your bags.’ Father noticed Sreedev was hiding his bag behind his back when he said that. Father shouted at him. He took something from his bag and father saw that. He became very angry and tried to snatch that thing from him. Father slapped and beat him. I was shocked. He was hiding some kind of a drug. Father took him to the principles room.

  I felt frozen inside. Others got stunned from what they saw.

I knew what was going to happen next.

Like a cyclone Principle Fr. CC John came in our class and shouted to go outside.  With his stick he beat us. He was very angry. Other classes were looking us from their windows. We felt very embarrassed.

Principle assigned some teacher to check our bags. He asked us to take off our shoes and socks. He gave some beatings to our class leader Abhiram and called him ‘irresponsible leader.’

Suddenly we noticed our class teacher standing there. We added more pain to her.  She was standing there silently.

During the check, a teacher found a mobile phone. It was owned by our NSS leader. Principle was saying something but I was not listening to him. I was thinking about was teacher. I felt very sorry for her.

4 boys were suspended from the school. After all this the class was silent. Most of them were disappointed.

                           Let me add something. Before this incident I knew some of them were using drugs. They called it as ‘cool’. They used to say that they get pleasure while using this stuff. Also from 11^th grade, some of them used to bring mobile phone to the class. They used to take photos. Every one of them were supportive even our class leaders.

I thought that let them do whatever they want.  I didn’t bother them I only thought about myself.

After this incident our class teacher did not came to the class. I knew she really disappointed with the class. Also for bring bad reputation for the class.

                        At night I was not able to study. That incident keeps coming in my mind. I closed the book lied on the bed. Suddenly my mother was called me. She said ‘Nisha teacher is on the line, she want to speak to you.’ I got flabbergasted. Random thoughts came in my mind like why teacher is calling me and what want to talk to me.

I got the phone from my mother and closed the room. I don’t want my mother during the conversation. Also I haven’t mentioned the incident that happened today to mother.  

I placed the phone in my ears and said ‘Hello teacher this is Aswin’.

She replied, ‘Aswin this is Nisha. I trust you please tell me what exactly happened. Do you know that your friends have the habit of using drugs also bringing mobile phone to the school. I trust you Aswin. Please tell me the truth.’

For a moment I thought, already teacher had undergone so much of pain and trauma. So I decided to confess everything that happened. I decided to tell her the whole truth.

I told her that, I am a witness to all that happened in the class. I knew some of them were using drugs also bringing mobile phone to the class. I told names of those who involved in it. Class leaders also knew everything. Every one of them were very supportive.

When I told the truth teacher was shocked. She said ‘then why did you not told me this earlier.’ I told her that I don’t want them to make my enemies.

I thought teacher was very satisfied with my answer. When I told the truth I felt relief inside. Finally a feeling of taking the burden out of my head.

           After telling her the truth, I lost all the confidence to face teacher the next morning. I was thinking that what she think about me for not being loyal to her. Some thoughts came in my mind like will she consider me, talk to me, or believe me. For the first time in life I learned that Truth is very powerful.

I knew, the next morning is going to be a game changer since I told teacher the name of those who involved in it.

When I woke up the next morning, the tension was at its peak. I have no idea that what is going to happen at school today. With all the strength I decided to move on.

 When I entered the classroom, most of them were silent. But I was ready to face the consequence.

The bell for the first period rang. I saw teacher was coming. One thought running in my mind is that how will I face her. I felt really embarrassed. Teacher entered the class room and she started to speak,

‘In this class I can’t believe any one. No one is trustworthy.’ She blamed and criticized each one of us including our class leaders. ‘When your friends are moving in a wrong path, it is your duty to take them to the right direction. That is the quality of a good friend. But you people were blind when your friends were in the wrong direction. What kind of a friend are you? No one showed the courage to inform me. If we all acted in the first place, we would have saved your friends from using drugs. I don’t know if it is too late or not. I don’t know if they are out of our hands. Only you people are responsible for it.’

                Teacher was telling the truth. When my friends were in danger  I failed to act. I didn’t bother about them. I should have told this to teacher before. Past is past. Nothing can be done about it. Correct your mistakes and go on is only option available for you.

                   Next period Sheeba  our chemistry teacher came to the class. She was also very irate with us. She started to take the class but in the midst teacher stopped the class and started to talk. When she spoke tears were coming out from her eyes. She said ‘It doesn’t matter where you end up in life if there is a curse of a teacher.’

          May be Nisha teacher told all her worries to Sheeba teacher.

In the 3^rd period our Zoology teacher Little Helen  came to the class. She spoke to us, ‘A teacher is like our own mother. Nisha teacher took care of you like your own children. But all of you cheated her. A curse of a teacher will haunt you rest of your life. Please don’t repeat this mistake in rest of your life.’

                           Well let me conclude this. I felt really abashed of myself. I was really worried. This incident was an eye opening for me.

        That evening I went to the church and narrated the whole incident to my parish priest. I believe that they can give good solutions for every problems. He said ‘You were in the wrong path. For getting us on the right direction God may create some situations like this. You understood your mistake and now you are in the right track. This is the reality.’

         That night I was reading a book ‘Buried Thoughts’ written by Joseph Annamkutty Jose. I read a sentence and it inspired me.

‘Sometimes correcting a mistake can change the destiny of ours. We may face some grating test in life. It will only bring out the good in you. It is like introspecting into ourselves. Learn from your mistake and move on. Something great is awaiting you.’

                        At that point I decided to tell the truth. When someone is in danger I will lend my hands and support them. What motivated Nisha teacher to call me that night. Teacher trusted me.

Truth is like a surgery. It hurts but cures. Lie is like a pain killer. It gives instant relief but has side effects forever.

                   This experience was a Redemption for me………