My Story

If my college life were a chemical equation, it would look something like this: boring lectures + confusing practicals + zero love life = a painfully average existence. That was me — Nirmal. Chemistry department, first year, specializing in nothing except avoiding viva questions. And then one random Tuesday morning, my life decided to conduct an unexpected reaction. Her name was Elza. She walked into our common language class like she owned the place — English department girl, that confident posture people in my department couldn’t even fake.  I noticed her the moment she sat two rows ahead. Noticed — as in, completely forgot what the teacher was saying, forgot my notebook, forgot that I existed. She was laughing softly at something her friend said, and in that one moment, my brain, which was supposed to handle complex reactions, turned into NaCl. Plain, useless salt. It’s funny how one person can ruin your entire academic focus with just one smile. I was from Chemistry; she was f...

  I was born into a deeply Christian family, where faith wasn’t just practiced—it was a way of life. My maternal grandparents were devoutly Orthodox, the kind of believers who lived and breathed the Church. They recited prayers throughout the day, attended Holy Mass without fail, and found comfort and strength in the pages of the Bible. Naturally, growing up in their home meant I was steeped in this spiritual environment from the very beginning. My grandmother, in particular, played a huge role in shaping my early beliefs. She would narrate Bible stories with such love and reverence that they felt more real than fairy tales. She never missed a chance to gently encourage—sometimes insist—that I attend Mass daily. Her dream was simple but powerful: she wanted me to become a priest. And for a long time, I believed that too. After school, while most kids rushed home to play or rest, I rushed to church. That sacred space felt more like home than anywhere else. I became involved in ev...

  The UPSC Mains result came. I name was not in the list... I closed my laptop and didn’t open it again for days. Something inside me just… collapsed. I had poured an entire year into this attempt — months of isolation, discipline, and blind faith that maybe, just maybe, it would all pay off. But here I was, alone in my room, the weight of failure pressing down on my chest like a rock. I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream. I just froze. For the next one week, I disappeared from the world. I binge-watched web series, scrolled endlessly, ate irregularly. I avoided calls, messages, everything. My mind was like a paused movie, looping only one thought: “What now?” That’s when Ajith , my friend, called. He asked about the result. I told him. He paused and then said gently, “Da… come out of it for a while. I’m quitting my IT job. The pay is meagre. Thought of taking a break… Want to join me for a trip to Idukki? It will be good for both of us.” Something about that call shook me awake. I hadn’...

  It had been a long time since our family had taken a break together. We went on a one-day trip to Varkala to celebrate my parents' 25th wedding anniversary. It was a small celebration, but one filled with love, laughter, and lots of memories. The next day I woke up early and went for a walk on the beach around 6 AM. It was quiet. Very few people were around. The sea was calm. The sound of the waves was the only thing I could hear. In front of me was the vast Arabian Sea, and behind me stood the tall and beautiful Varkala Cliff. I felt peace. Rarely do Indian beaches offer this kind of calm. Usually, they're bursting with people, selfies, music, and chaos. But this morning was different. It felt like the world had paused—for me, for this moment. I stood there facing the vast Arabian Sea and mentally traced a line across the ocean. “If I travel 4000 kilometres straight from here,” I thought, “I’d land in Somalia.” Funny how small and connected the world can seem when you...